Assalamualaikum & hye
After struggling with few women in my life these days,
I ended up being underrated for some reasons, again.
And I'm in the middle of struggling to heal myself.
So I would like to distract myself to see another side of me,
which already immune with other underrated acts.
1. Eating disorder
When people look at me and say
"Kedingnya. Tak makan ka?"
"Betoi ka dah makan banyak ni?"
"Bila makan banyak tu, muntah balik ka?"
Believe me, I already had nothing to say.
I love to eat. A lot.
I can stay hungry for 24/7 sometimes.
But people seem not to believe it even if I say it out loud,
just because I have this skinny and lanky figure.
So yeah, I don't even care people's opinion regarding my feature.
Since some of my friends are in their 3rd pregnancy,
most of them are already got married
or at least getting married
so some of a very concerned population speculate things such as
"Tula duk fokus belajaq ja, tak pikiaq bab nak kawin."
"Orang perempuan tak macam orang laki. Jangan memilih sangat.."
"Lambat lagi ka nak kenduri? Jangan tunggu saja, kena berusaha."
(and the list goes on)
Even if before this I kinda disturbed with their conclusions
as in I just stay still and didn't put any effort for getting married
or as if I didn't have any intention to get married as another ladies have,
but AlhamduLillah, it's getting better recently.
Allah has guide me, through all those hurdles (with those women).
There are always some people gonna bring you down for whatever reasons.
They cheat on you, backbite you or even backstab you.
They can do or say whatever they want by the will of Allah.
But the thing is, Allah knows the truth.
And whenever I bump into this over-concerned society,
I ended up saying to myself
"It's my life. Not theirs. I really put on effort and pray for the best. I learn to be patient for everything that's written by Allah for me. If they themselves being so impatient for the sake of me myself, that's their problem. Not mine."
I know I can't control people's heart and their action.
But I can control mine.
And still indeed, I'm a weak creature.
May Allah guide us, no matter what.